Rectum Realization

Jett Facey has become a good friend over this summer and has become one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. He’s currently a senior at Soka University, class of 2022, and is an Academy alumnus. Jett is one of those people who can talk to anyone and has a +4 charisma modifier for you DnD fans. He’s an original. For example, there was a day this summer when he decided that he was going to go 24 hours without sleeping, eating, technology, reading, leaving his room, or interacting with anyone. This was back when I was first starting to get to know him, but that’s who Jett is, a great guy who does things no one would ever think of.

“So I was in Spain, studying abroad and I had this persistent cold for two weeks. The thing is, you can’t miss class in Spain unless you get a doctor’s note, so I’m like screw it, I don’t want to go to class today I’m gonna go to the doctor, and they’ll fix me. So I take a taxi to the hospital, and everyone speaks Spanish in Spain, so I try to explain what’s going on in Spanish. The doctor’s like, ‘oh yeah no problem. I got a shot for you just take the shot, and I’ll prescribe you a bunch of different medications’.

I go into this room, and this nurse comes in, and I’m like do my left arm for the shot and she’s like ‘oh no, it goes in your butt.’ In my head I was like noooooooo, but I tell her ok alright. So I pull down my pants, and she gives me a shot right in the a@@, and then she just leaves. She doesn’t tell me anything, she doesn’t even say what the shot is. I never knew what the shot was, I still don’t know.

So I’m in this chair, and I just start sweating a bunch and feeling really lightheaded. My leg, that they shot me in, I can’t feel it, it’s completely numb. Then I’m thinking about it and I’m like oh my God, I’m dying. I’m literally like holy s@#t, they gave me the wrong shot, something went wrong, and I’m dying. At this point like my brain was starting to go fuzzy. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t do anything. I’m sitting in the waiting room, and I just slip into unconsciousness. It was so weird, I actually believed I was dying. I have always been scared of death, but in that moment, I was alright, everything came together, and I was OK with it. It kind of felt nice.

Then I wake up. I’m still super sweaty, still think I’m dying, and I still can’t move. I can’t say anything because everyone speaks Spanish. I’m in this waiting room where there are no doctors, and no one even noticed that I had passed out, no one even knew what was going on.

Luckily, I had a friend who was interning at this specific hospital. So at some point, I was able to pull out my phone and text her in English, and I’m like ‘tell your boss I’m dying.’ Then I pass out again, and 20 minutes later, this doctor runs out with his clipboard and my friend is running behind him.

So he hands the clipboard to my friend, and I’m so ready for them to wheel me off into the ER and he’s like alright… fan him. My friend is just fanning me with a clipboard and then the doctor leaves, he leaves immediately. So I’m just laying down across all these chairs in the waiting room, and my friend is just fanning me with this clipboard. She’s doing it for like half an hour before I start feeling better, and the doctor never came back, he just ran out. So yeah that’s my story. I left the hospital and in the taxi on the way home I was like, wow, that just happened.”